Friday 22 October 2010

Toffs and Turncoats

The happy phrase is Nick Passmore's, not mine. Here they are, delivering what they patronisingly term their 'Comprehensive Spending Review'.

There are actually four Toffs in this picture, although we can only see three of them unless we really know where to look. And please don't strain your eyes trying, you'll only end up at the optician's, and it'll cost you a fortune, even more than a bus ride.

Two of them are also Turncoats. Turncoat No.1 can be identified by his subtle yellow tie; along with Toff No.1 he is attempting to nod sagely at what he wants us to think are the words of wisdom of Toff No.2. And Turncoat No.2? Well, he's hiding behind Toff 2; we surmise he's licking that part of 2's anatomy nearest to him, as he has been doing for the last 6 months.

Toff 2's speech can roughly be summarised thus: 
We and our kind got us into this mess, so you lot are going to have to get us out of it. We're all in this together, but we know our place, and we know yours as well. This is going to hurt you more than it hurts us. That's what we're here for. We're looking after our lot, you can look after yours.
Jobs, pay, pensions, welfare, transport, health, education, arts - even the police and the armed forces - all trashed in an orgy of smug, smarmy, hypocritical, prevaricating self-righteousness. And aimed disproportionately at those least able to withstand it; but they're not likely to vote Toff anyway, if they vote at all, so what do they matter?

Someone described it as a performance of smoke and mirrors - how apt. The Toffs manipulate the mirrors, trying to get us to believe that less is more, down is up, cut is paste; meanwhile the Turncoats pump away at the smoke machine, hoping to prevent us from seeing what's going on.

And on a personal note - Oi, Norman - were you listening to this garbage? Are you going to vote for it? Or are you going to use your loaf?

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