Mikileaks: Posh Boy Philosophy revealed

Warning: Some of the information in this picture may have been obtained by listening in on private telephone conversations. Or maybe not. Our investigative reporter didn't tell us and we wouldn't say even if he did. In any case he was acting on his own.

We appreciate that some of the language used in the document above may not be familiar to everyone, so we have added a few explanatory notes which we hope you will find helpful:

People

Karl Marx

Josef Stalin

Why Cameron resembles a fish in a condom

Philosophy

"From each according to their ability, to each according to their need"

Posh Boy Politics

Open any newspaper*, any day, any page, and read about:

• hitting the disabled

• hitting the poor

• hitting the young: Sure Start - Educational Maintenance Allowance - tuition fees

• hitting the old

• hitting the unemployed

• wrecking the health service

• dismantling the education system: school curriculum - academies - so-called "free" schools - university funding

• starving the arts

• cheating the voluntary sector

• destroying democracy: constituency boundaries - voting reform

• cosying up to Murdoch*

Hardly any of these measures were in their election manifesto nor in the coalition agreement, few are based on reliable evidence, many haven't even been costed.

Posh Boy Etonomics

- letting the banks off the hook

- fomenting unemployment

- privatising anything and everything

- telling porkies about the economy

Posh Boy Outlook on Life

And all handled with seemingly effortless, patronising effrontery: "I'm incredibly optimistic"

We could go on but it's nearly bedtime. More helpful links to follow.

Note:

* if your newspaper isn't telling you about all this, ask yourself why

57 varieties of hypocrite

(from today's Guardian)

For those not familiar with UK politics:

- the Liberal Democrats have 57 MPs (members of parliament)

- they are propping up the Conservatives in a coalition government

- during the general election campaign earlier this year they promised to abolish students' tuition fees, if elected

- they won a number of university town seats on the back of this pledge

- the senior Liberal Democrat Vince Cable is the minister in charge of the government department which is currently introducing a huge rise in tuition fees, alongside a massive cut in the funding of university teaching

- a wave of student occupations and demonstrations is taking place all over the country against these cuts and charges

- one leading Liberal Democrat said the pledge was 'a legitimate position for an opposition party', but 'a very different position for a party with responsibility' (see dictionary definition of hypocrisy below)

- many Liberal Democrat MPs are getting cold feet over the parliamentary vote on this issue, due next week - should they vote for? against?? abstain??? individually???? all together?????

- the Guardian cartoonist Steve Bell does Cable as a baby elephant

- Heinz (of baked beanz fame) used to boast they sold 57 varieties of tinned food

- the Liberal Democrat logo is a bird with far too many wings - or is it a worm?

- the lobby is where MPs go to cast their votes in the House of Commons

- 'lobby fodder' is an expression used to refer to MPs who always vote the way their party tells them to

- hypocrite: when someone pretends to believe something that they do not really believe or that is the opposite of what they do or say at another time (Cambridge Dictionaries Online)

They say a picture is worth a thousand words - well I've used over 250 here but I'd far rather look at Steve Bell's cartoon . . .

Oh, and by the way, I - and I'm sure many others in Lewes - will be very interested to see how our own Liberal Democrat MP, Norman Baker, votes on this issue.

Posh Boy has idea

Steve Bell, Guardian, 20 July

Here's what senior Tories thought of Cameron's "big idea", three months ago:

"Oliver Letwin had this great 'big society' idea, though it might have been an idea to share it with the rest of us," one normally loyal shadow minister said. "People don't really follow Oliver's philosophical discourse."

Another shadow minister echoed this criticism. "The 'big society' needs to be turned into more practical, voter-friendly language. We need to turn Oliver Letwin's Hegelian dialectic into voter friendly stuff."

A third Tory source was even blunter. "The 'big society' is bollocks. It is boiled vegetables that have been cooked for three minutes too long. It tastes of nothing. What is it?"

Well, what is it? Philosophical discourse? Hegelian dialectic?? Or just over-boiled vegetables???

Is this any help: David Cameron reveals 'big society' vision ? Hmm - philosophy, dialectic, or vegetables?

Posh Boys: Cunning Stunts

Larry Elliot in today's Guardian explains the Government's cunning plan to get the economy growing by cutting everything in sight. No-one I've heard or read, anywhere - including the Posh Boys themsleves - seems to have the faintest idea how this is supposed to work.

The answer, of course, is that it isn't. As you listen to the daily drip drip drip - should we call them the Three Drips? - of Government announcements you realise that most of them are being introduced with no economic justification whatsoever. The Tories are simply seizing on the excuse of the recession and the deficit to rush through a series of ideologically driven changes that not even Margaret Thatcher managed to force on us in the 1980s; see Gary Younge, on the opposite page of today's Guardian, for an analysis of this.

The Tories are embarking on an orgy of destruction, driven by an urge to demolish anything that could be to the credit or benefit of their political opponents, or anyone else that gets in their way. They need no justification - they're on a mission. So social services, children's services, health, education, pensions, the arts - all are hacked back. Investment dries up, jobs disappear, homes and schools don't get built. VAT is going up and wages are capped, so consumer spending will fall, and businesses big and small will fail. Meanwhile, we are confidently told, voluntary groups will plug the gaps. Without funding, of course. Cameron's "big society" is truly a Very Big Hypocrisy.

And the "Liberal Democrats" are poodling along in their wake, dazzled by being allowed to carry the odd portfolio, happy enough to squeeze into the occasional photo opportunity. For how much longer? Norman, where's that loaf?

NB: for Cunning Stunts, see this article on Spoonerisms; for cunning plans, see this one on Blackadder.

Posh boy seeks posh boy

Posh boy seeks posh boy with view to getting feet under table. Same would be appreciated for some of my friends. Several million votes in back pocket. No task too menial, principle no object.

Oi, Norman, I want my vote back!

Apparently the Liberal Democrats couldn't see how to establish a progressive, reforming government with Labour. So they've turned to the Tories.

My Liberal Democrat MP, Norman Baker, stood for parliament claiming a vote for him was the only way to keep the Tories out. I voted for him on that basis, as I have done before. Now his party has put the Tories in power.

So I might as well have voted Labour, or Green.

Can I have my vote back?

Talking Democracy Blues

Leon Rosselson voices his frustration on 13 years of labour rule and an imminent Tory government. Words, music and video: Copyright Leon Rosselson 2010.

A wasted vote or a nasty shock?

 

From Voter Power Index, Lewes Constituency

If 48.5% of Lewes voters didn't vote for the winning candidate in 2005, then 51.5% did. The Liberal Democrats won the seat with an overall majority of the votes, which sounds reasonable to me.

What statistical presentations like this leave out is the politics. Lewes was a 'safe' Tory seat until 1997. In that election many Labour and Green supporters took electoral reform into their own hands, and voted tactically for the Liberal Democrats. We've had a Lib Dem MP since then, he's been a good MP and he's maintained his seat. The same has happened in many constituencies around the UK - many voters have been able to use an 'alternative vote', even within the existing system, and have managed to influence the outcome.

If people think their vote is going to be 'wasted', they will be less likely to vote. If they don't vote, they're leaving the decision to those that do - and they may like the result even less.

Beware - don't take the politics out of politics - you might end up with a nasty shock.

Of the rich, by the rich, for the rich

Sums them up, really.

More from the same source.

R.I.P. Classless Society

Burke and Hare were serial murderers in the 1820s. Whereas Cameron and co. wouldn't cut a thing, would they?

More at the usual place.

I've never voted Tory before

And I'm not likely to this time, either.

I'm probably the last person on earth to see this. More gems on mydavidcameron.com . Defacing political posters just got a whole lot easier!